


Myosotis

by Seicchanart



Category: Batman (Movies - Nolan)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Gen, Lazarus Pit AU, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:55:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28937373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seicchanart/pseuds/Seicchanart
Summary: A connection that lasts through time (Or something like that).(Lazarus Pit Au belongs to @priama)
Relationships: Jonathan Crane/Rachel Dawes
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	1. Anemone, Balsam and Satin Flower

**Author's Note:**

> Some delusions my brainworms produced while dancing in my head
> 
> Again, this is probably incomprehensible, so make sure to read priama's fic first! (https://archiveofourown.org/works/28929795) And my other one for context too i guess (https://archiveofourown.org/works/28923804)
> 
> Her fic slaps supremely so read it even if you don't read the other one I did!! Also this is probably rushed but idk I needed to write down the feverthoughts

Jonathan chews on his lip and taps his pen onto his journal. He feels giddy, and impatient. It’s hard to stay calm, but he needs to. He needs to craft a plan, a foolproof one.

Rachel Dawes is alive. Rachel Dawes is alive, and she doesn’t remember anything. It’s almost too perfect, really. She’s been handed to him on a silver platter. Jonathan thinks about Gordon, and smiles. She won’t tell Gordon about him, not yet at least. She _needs_ him, he’s seen how helpless she feels on her own.

Gordon is stupid, really. It’s only _this_ easy because he doesn’t tell her anything. Jonathan feels a wicked joy about the guilt Gordon probably feels, how confused he must be, to be confronted by his own sins again.

Jonathan knows everything Rachel knows (and a lot more); he keeps in contact with Nyssa al Ghul. She told him where Rachel Dawes lives, and she tells him what Gordon does or doesn’t say to Rachel.

She seems to trust Nyssa, or at least be more comfortable with her than with Gordon. Another thing that’s exactly how Jonathan needs it to be. He doesn’t believe he’s gotten so lucky.

He needs to be careful not to let it get to his head, though. He needs a plan, and he needs to be careful. He only has one chance, and he’s not going to ruin it.

(Jonathan doesn’t even know what exactly he wants, except to have her.)


	2. Aloe, Raspberry Blossom and Tamarisk

Gordon downs another beer and slumps back into his couch. He’s alone now, his wife (ex wife, he reminds himself), and kids gone, out of the city, in safety.

His mind wanders off to Rachel Dawes, like it does so often nowadays. He feels horrible about it, but she scares him. How can she still be alive? She looks at him with those weird green eyes, and they bore right through him, even though he never looks her in the eyes.

They’re off. _She’s_ off. He remembers her, how she was before. He hadn’t known her _that_ well, but they met from time to time. The woman he had found in Miss Raatko’s house was nothing like her. Rachel’s eyes were now a light lime, when before they had been olive. They didn’t even carry the same warmth in them any more. Her gaze was cold, and empty, and it scared him.

He thinks about how Rachel reacted when he brought the new Batman to her. Thinks about how her cold eyes filled with despair instead, thinks about how she broke down, right in front of his eyes.

That had been off too, but in a different way. It had felt almost human, something that would surprise him from Rachel Dawes, but something that makes a lot more sense than the blankness, the coldness. When she cried, she felt like Rachel, and then she didn’t again when Gordon saw her the next time.

It’s horrible, and cruel, but his mind refuses to recognize her. He /knows/ it’s her, he’s not blind, but his brain keeps telling him that the woman in front of him isn’t - _can’t_ be - Rachel Dawes.

(Jim Gordon opens another beer.)


	3. Mint, Rhododendron and Betony

Nyssa is patient, she has to be. She smiles at Rachel, listens to the woman speak, while the blood in her ears rushes so loud she can barely hear her. Something about the other woman has her on edge, but she can’t put her finger on it. Well, except for the fact she was revived from only ashes of course, something Nyssa had never seen before.

Her hands tremble ever so slightly, and she doesn’t know if it’s from fear or excitement.

Rachel Dawes looks at her, and it’s meant to be thoughtful, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. They glow, and Nyssa can’t stop looking at them.

“Are you okay, Bethany?”

Nyssa nods, and puts the smile back on her face.

“Of course. I was just thinking that I should probably go grocery shopping again. Should I pick some up for you, too?”

Rachel hesitates, and Nyssa fiddles with the teacup in her hand. Rachel’s apartment makes her nervous, somehow. It’s devoid of any personality; but she has to do this. She has to obey the hooded man, for now.

“Someone came visit me a few days ago.”, Rachel starts, speaking slow and careful.

Nyssa’s ears perk up at this, but when Rachel continues, she’s met with disappointment.

“A man with glasses and blue eyes. He said he’s Jonathan Crane; he said he knows me.”

Blue eyes and glasses. Nyssa knows who he is, of course she does. He makes her blood boil, the hooded man. _Jonathan Crane, huh?_

Nyssa quirks her head to the side and feigns confusion.

“Really? What did he say?”

Rachel chews on her lips, and the reluctance on her face is the most emotion Nyssa has ever seen on it.

“He said he was my boyfriend.”

(Nyssa almost chokes on her tea.)


	4. Primrose, Ipomoea and Digitalis

It takes Crane way too long to visit her again, and Rachel is on edge. It’s easier to live through the days now that she meets up regularly with Bethany, but it still feels like a dream. Everything does.

Bethany is grounding, for some reason. She didn’t know her, and she barely knows her now. Rachel wouldn’t call the two of them “friends”, nor is she particularly interested in friendship with her. She _knows_ the woman is hiding something from her, but she doesn’t know what.

It doesn’t make her angry, unlike Gordon’s silence, so she doesn’t talk about it. She decides it doesn’t matter to her. 

The pieces of her life finally fall together again when her doorbell rings again.

(She can’t see the puzzle, but she knows that at least for this evening, she will be whole.)

Rachel stands up and opens the door, and Crane stands in front of it. She wonders how she knew it would be him, as he walks into her apartment and takes his shoes off.

When he turns to look at her, his eyes knock the breath out of her lungs. She has almost forgotten how intense his gaze is, and how intense the swirling emotions feel in her stomach when she looks at him.

They sit down on her couch and they talk. Crane is reserved, just like he had been last time. She wonders if she just imagined the look in his eyes, the predatory way he had moved.

Crane talks about nothing very important, and Rachel stares at his lips. They move and curve while he talks. They’re plush and have a nice pink color. Rachel swallows and looks aside.

( _He said he was my boyfriend._ , her own voice resounds in her head and she remembers the shock on Bethany’s face.)

“Is there something in particular you want to know?”

Rachel is happy about the opportunity to think about something else; and she has also been itching to know more for weeks now. She thinks, and to her horror, her head stays blank. She wants to know, she wants to know _everything_ , but she doesn’t know what to ask.

Crane is quiet, lets her sink into thoughts, and she is grateful for that. She feels panic and nausea rise in her and squeezes her eyes shut. Finally, after a few painful moments, her brain has formed a thought.

“Batman”, she manages to squeeze out. “Something is off about him.”

Crane knits his brows together and slides a thumb over his lips.

(An electric spark goes down Rachel’s spine, and she shivers.)

“That’s not really something about _you_ , now is it?”, Crane leans forward, and there is a cold hunger in his eyes that makes Rachel’s hairs stand. “But alright. He’s not the original Batman, as far as I know. The old one died.”

Crane’s tone is careful, hesitant, calculated, but Rachel doesn’t notice. Instead, she feels like all air was punched out her lungs, and she lets her head sink between her knees. She feels tears burn in her eyes, but the overwhelming feeling is different from what she had felt in the hospital, when she had seen “Batman” for the first time.

She can’t breathe, and grasps her own shoulders tighter.

_The old one died. Old one died. Died. Died._

She feels like she’s going to throw up, a very familiar feeling by now. Crane puts a soft hand on her shoulder and kneels down in front of her.

“We should stop for today.”

(He sounds almost happy about that, but Rachel is too caught up in trying to breathe to notice.)

“N- No-”, she pants. “ _Please_ , I can’t -”

“Rachel.”, Crane says firmly, and looks her right in the eyes, like nobody else who knows her does.

His voice, the way he says her name makes a memory rise in her; a memory of a soft hand on her cheek, of warm blue eyes, and a kiss on her lips.

“It won’t be good to overdo it. We have all the time in the world. I’m a psychiatrist, trust me.”

Rachel nods and swallows down the urge to hug him, to kiss him.

(He was right about being her boyfriend, then. Rachel doesn’t doubt that anymore.)

Crane stands up again, and it feels like she’s being ripped in two. It feels like someone threw the puzzle on the ground again.

“Don’t leave. Please.”, she whispers, and she doesn’t care how desperate she sounds.

Crane smiles.

“I’ll be back soon. Don’t worry.”

(Jonathan has to bite back a triumphant laugh. This is going better than he ever would’ve imagined. It feels weird to call her by her first name, though.)


	5. Yellow Carnation, Orange Lily and Five Leafed Clover

They sit in silence. It’s uncomfortable, and Rachel fiddles with the leather of her couch. Gordon looks at the ground, just like he always does.

He looks almost relieved when his phone rings, and he curtly excuses himself and walks towards the shoe rack for privacy.

Rachel leans back and sighs. She wonders why Gordon seems to be so afraid of her. Did she do something to him when she still had her memories? Or did it have something to do with all the things he isn’t telling her?

Her mouth feels dry and she feels empty, but she can only take care of one of those things, so she stands up to get a glass of water. She walks by the corridor Gordon is standing in, and her world freezes over when she catches a small string of words he says.

“ - I’m not telling her about Dent, are you crazy?! Did you forget how she reacted to Batman - “

Rachel loses her balance and almost falls over, but she manages to hold onto the wall. Quickly, carefully not to be too loud, she runs into her kitchen and leans over the sink.

Her blood is pumping like crazy and her stomach turns and turns and turns. Tears burn in her eyes again, and finally, for the second time since she woke up, Rachel breaks out in tears again.

( _Dent. Dent. Dent. Who is that?_ )

.

When Gordon returns to the living room and doesn’t find Rachel Dawes, his heart sinks. Panic washes over him; then he hears her sobs in the kitchen and sighs.

It’s selfish, but he doesn’t want to go. Doesn’t want to console. How dare he have these thoughts? How dare he think of the woman he had let die as a monster?

(He still ends up going, out of obligation. Gordon kneels down and puts a reluctant hand on her shoulder, and they both feel miserable because of it.)


	6. Marigold, Bellwort and Coriander

When Crane returns once again, Rachel has a question ready. They had just sat down when it spills from her lips, desperate for an answer, any answer.

“Dent. Who is that?”

Crane lifts his eyebrows. He seems surprised.

“Where did you hear that name?”

Rachel swallows, and answers, quietly.

“Gordon said it. In a phone call. He was talking about me. I - I know that name.”

Crane nods slowly, and he seems to think. He takes off his glasses and cleans them with his dress shirt, and then he looks at her again.

“His name is Harvey Dent. He was… your ex. He died.”

Rachel sits and stares. There is a pit opening in her stomach, and her head is spinning while Crane continues to talk.

“He was your boss, too. District Attorney Harvey Dent.”

Crane’s mouth twitches upwards for just a fraction of a second, and Rachel feels emptier than she ever had.

“Or Two-Face, how he was later called.”

That name doesn’t awaken any emotion in her, but Rachel thinks she remembers someone on the street talking about that when she was out a few days ago. She swallows.

Two-Face. A criminal. She wonders if he is responsible for the smell of gasoline in her dreams, for the memories of blind panic, for the maggots. 

(She thought those things were connected with Crane, at first, but now she wonders if she was wrong.)

They sit in silence now, and it’s unbearable. It reminds her of when she had sat with Gordon, and she hates the man. She looks up to meet Crane’s eyes and wonders if she loved him. Wonders if she loves him.

As if sensing the helplessness she feels, Crane extends a hand and brushes over her cheek. Rachel leans into his touch and closes her eyes. She needs him. He feels like safety, like control, in a way no one else does.

When Rachel kisses him, she feels desire filling her body, desire that feels like it has been buried for a long time.


	7. Viscaria and Black Rose

(Gordon’s voice is desperate, and it fills her with anger. He grabs her arm, holds it in a painful grip, and she looks over to where Jonathan and Bethany stand. She can’t see him clearly, but she could swear Jonathan is smiling.

“He’s lying to you!”, Gordon is loud, too loud. “ _Please_ , Rachel, don’t do that.”

Rachel almost laughs. She feels bitterness fill her, let’s her disdain for the man in front of her take over.

“Lying? It’s _you_ who doesn’t tell me anything!”, Rachel yells.

She yanks her arm from his grasp and Gordon pales.

“I thought it was best for you -”, Gordon whispers, and Rachel thinks he’s pathetic. “I - I never wanted - I thought you died, I was _so_ sure, please -”

He’s talking nonsense, and Rachel won’t have any of it. She looks over to Jonathan. He doesn’t say anything, but Rachel can still hear the words in the air.

_Come with me._

She does.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jon is so hard to write, the bastard ú.ù I feel like I only really nailed him in the pkmn au but who knows. Anyways I hope you enjoyed, thanks for reading!


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